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how i view… {motherhood} | roseville lifestyle photographer

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”
~ Jill Churchill

The way I view motherhood is complicated.  The above quote just about sums it up.  Motherhood to me consists of a lot of questions.  And, a lot of choices. Personal choices that we hope are the right ones for us, for our family, and for our situation.

What’s the best way to get my child{ren} to sleep through the night?

           Should I work to help support my family or should I stay at home to help support my family?  

                       Bottle or breast?  

                                 Public school, home school, or private school?  

                                             How can I encourage good behavior in my child{ren}?    

The list could go on forever.  We would be here all day and into the next if I kept going.

And everyone’s choices will vary depending on where they are in their life, the resources they have available to them, and any number of a million other reasons they may have for making the decisions they do.

In the end though, the goal is to raise respectful human beings, who think for themselves and go on to lead independent, successful lives.  That’s not too much to ask, right?

But, it is a lot to ask.  For me, it is overwhelming at times.  Raising these little people to become decent adults seems like such a daunting task, that I often find myself taking every little choice so seriously.  Too seriously.  Almost daily, I have to remind myself that it does not matter if I don’t offer both a fruit AND a vegetable at lunch.  That it’s OK if we don’t make a summer list of 101 fun things to do together.  And that it’s perfectly fine if I have to run the washing machine {again} because I left the clothes in there just a bit too long.  These silly little things really, truly, do not matter.

When I had my first child {now 4 years old}, I so desperately wanted to nurse him for 1 full year.  6 months was my “short term” goal.  But 1 year was my “I-am-woman-hear-me-roar” goal.  I went back to work full time when he was 3 months old, so we all know what that means.  I got to experience the joy of pumping.  3-4 times a day, Monday-Friday.

Somehow these size A girls of mine and I made it to that 6 month goal.  But when my son was about 8 months old… well, let’s just say my river had run dry.  I tried everything to keep up my supply.  Lactation cookies.  Fenugreek supplements.  Mother’s milk tea.  I increased my pumping frequency and even started waking up at night to pump.  I don’t know why in the world I tried to hold on for so long, but somewhere in my son’s 10th month {when my milk was tinted pink from bleeding} I gave up.  And so we started formula.

And I’ll never forget one night I was putting my son to sleep…  My husband was at work.  I had warmed the formula.  We went to the nursery to start our bedtime routine.  And about half way through his bottle, my son put his hand on my hand.  I looked down at him and his eyes looked straight into mine.  I touched his little cheek.  I stroked the brow of his eye.  And in that moment, it didn’t matter that he was drinking from a bottle.  I was feeding him.  Nurturing him.  Loving him.  And he was loving me right back.

For me, the important thing to remember about motherhood, is that there is no perfect way to do things.  Every family is different.  Every situation is different.  Every child is different {infinitely so, in fact, as evident by my two}.  And we’re all just trying to do the best we can with the knowledge we have.  So whether you cry it out or co-sleep, homeschool or public school, bottle feed or breast feed… Whatever your situation is and whatever your choices are, remember… There is no perfect way, only a million good ways.  

Here’s to motherhood!


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Don’t forget to see how the other photographers in my group view this month’s theme – start by clicking over to Michelle’s blog HERE.  You know you’ve completed the blog circle when you come right back here to me.
This is month 5 in my year-long “How I View…” project.
(If you’re new to my blog you can see my other month’s posts – as well as the other 11 photographers I’m doing this project with – by clicking HERE).
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